I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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