Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
