hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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