So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize