she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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