It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
