if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
