He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize