I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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