i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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