I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize