When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
where does the pee come out of this thing
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
bring money and cleavage
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
