why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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