I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
