He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
