Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
