I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
