I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
