Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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