Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
