he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
