pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
