is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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