Quick, to the slutcave!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
