You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
whose parrot is this?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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