i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
