Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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