I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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