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I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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