It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
