What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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