I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
