My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
even my farts smell like vagina
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
