Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
