They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
