She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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