Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
