Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize