Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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