i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my sisters under your porch take her home
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
