we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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