it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
