yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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