im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
