sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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