a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
