I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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