also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize