I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
