Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
