I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize