I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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