absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize