Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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