Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
