Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
