Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
