420 ftw
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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