Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
