My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
BRING THE BAGELS
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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