Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
In America we eat man semen.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
