I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
