Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
